+``[[ a RainY DaY.. with my feeling, my tots... ]]``+Â Â Â

+``[[Miscellaneous]]``+

On my way home

Shout

Sunday, October 14, 2007

14 Oct 2007, Night

Jealousy..?

hmm.. recently Mum got a new idea... she said " Think is a good idea to buy a private property with Big Bro then can rent this place (referring to my current house) out n bro can still rent his place out." How did she had the idea I dunno... Plus, HDB sent a letter encourage my parents to rent out the place to top up their retirement allowances.. if they fulfilled the 5yrs of stay requirement.. but hearing that really make me feel v sian.
Why?
b'cos in the past sis-in-law always ask her n dad to move in with them and Mum always says.. no la! how to move in with me n my sis still in the house (as in not married). Then always say sis-in-law ask her to move in is b'cos want her to look after xuan he.. and she resist the idea..
so now a change of stand is b'cos??
Reasons I can tot of ..
1) seeing that bro is renting other ppl's place so.. dun want him to "stay under other's roof" and therefore to buy another property?
2) Finding us(my sis and I) as a burden already?
3) Easier to look after my bro if he got sick? (like these few days his not feeling well)

You may say.. get to stay in private property not gd meh? but please note.. Mum say go buy with my Bro... not us.. and the thing is that my sis-in-law have no intention of staying with the 2 of us according to speculation in the past.. so, does it means Mum decide to abandon us? hmm.. tots of moving out to stay grows stronger.. if ever Mum buy some house with Bro, then most probably I will move out. So before tt happen, think I will have to save a lot more and harder to deal with this... sighz....

Ever since my brokeup, I seriously felt that Mum is biases.. towards Bro. Even she told tt to Sis that there's always a tendency to be biases towards the first one since IS the first one.. and often told us that if not for the third child that she miscarriaged and dad wants another son.. then I wont even exist! so somehow, the kind of jealousy and the sense of unfairness just seems to loomed in me.. sad sad tot.. I just feel so unwanted..

posted at 10:36 PM

+``[[Credits]]``+

Note to all users of this skin:
Please do not take down this part.

This skin was created by Grace Teoh.

The picture was found on Yahoo through the keyword[s] "rain" and was taken from BabyReyes.

The quote on top of the picture was taken from Quote Garden.

Codes were taken from all over the internet and if you think you see a code that's yours, let me know and I'll add your name to this list of credits.

+``[[Me.. standing in the rain]]``+

What to say about myself... most of the time I really dunno myself that well.. hmm..

A boy who dun get angry easily and always enjoy the sky, the sea, and quiet moments.. A boy who likes to see smiles put on the face of the people around him.. A boy who always reflect back what had happened and often ends up blaming himself for whatever happens.. An introvert And pessismist by nature.. cynical at times too.. can be quite extreme in tots and quite stubborn too..

Hate backstabber or those who put on a hypocritical mask.. also dislike people who don't keep their promises esp when they said it so seriously..

Hope to have a simple life but know that it'll never be possible here.. Of cos, my frens out there who got this blog address should roughly know what kind of person I'm too. If interested to find out more, read the entries and tok to mi one-to-one.